Oh god, here he is again going to talk our ears off until nothing remains but two crimson mounds on either side of my face. And why in god's name is he writing it at 2 O' clock in the morning the sad bastard, does he do anything away from his computer? And why the hell am I reading this wank when I have a top heavy blonde laying in my bed with her tongue hanging out?
The blonde can wait, because I'm talking. And like L'oreal, I'm worth it.
So what am I going to yammer on about for the next 2/5 minutes? Maybe I can piss and moan about how Mario is a drug-addled turtle-killer, or how James Cameron now believes he created the Titanic if the marketing for the new film 'Sanctum 3D' is to go by. Or maybe I just want to talk a lot of bollocks and waste 5 minutes of your life, because I'm a twat. I guess we're going to find out.
Students. That's what I'm going to whine and complain and moan and cry about.
Students. These creatures are generally young, pus ridden free loaders who believe they're entitled to the world and beyond. And I should know, I am one! We're in a very desirable situation, we get given free money and are encouraged to use said free money to have a go at learning some more advanced skills, which then help us get a career that doesn't involve me selling my penis on street corners and thus going on to disappoint greasy men and women for the next 40 years. On top of that, the less well off students get free money they don't even have to pay back, ever.
And from that point onwards it goes tits up. Tories are voted in to power and thus began the inevitable raping and pillaging of universities across the country. Under the new system you're going to amass debt like nothing you would ever believe in the history of ever. And apparently this is shocking. Yes, it's shocking because the debt is forced on the student. How despicable, especially when you consider how good students are at getting into preposterous debt all by themselves. Half the student population go a grand in to their overdraft like it's a right of passage, then spend the rest of the year complaining they have no money. 'What's money when you can have a good time in the same place every night, right?' is the general response. Then 6 months later and it's 'Oh shit, I need to eat'.
So after establishing themselves as poor, what can a student do next, oh, that's right. Complain more! Yes, some students go to University because they don't feel ready to work yet, and getting free money to not work for another 3 years sounds like good news to me! So inevitably they take the easiest sounding course, says the guy who does media, and go on to complain that the essays are hard, the teachers are crap, the facilities are average and that their constant hangovers make all 9:15 starts the time of the devil.
And the most stand out issue is their general being. A typical student A.K.A the pus-ridden, free-loading, poor, whiner crybaby dresses and acts like a twat. Everyone's seen one, most of us know one. Yes, the insecure dick-head who decided that being student meant they could act as flamboyant as Boy George at a flower convention. They use social networking as a means to put quirky, kiss arse updates to ensure all their hallow husk-friends can see how flamboyant and eccentric they are. They're the ones who get pissed and are generally outrageous, and by outrageous I mean sickeningly embarrassing. The ones who will wear whatever's popular, even if it's only popular with the other sex. And if anyone doesn't like it well you're just a hard-nosed, judgemental wanker who needs to learn a lesson in tolerance. And as true as that might be, at least I don't dress like a cock.
Was there any point to this? No, it's a blog. It's a blog that I shamelessly sell on Facebook in the belief that one day I will be recognised for my raw talent and good looks, but until the day comes where I have raw talent and good looks, I'm just going to have to persist like an irritating skin rash, and look like one too. I'm under no illusion that there's a total of 4 people who read this, half of which will think I'm an unreasonable douche-bag. And again, as true as that might be...well, it's just true actually.
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